65: Overcoming Self-Doubt: 4 Steps to Heal & Overcome Self-Doubt in Your Life

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May 31

Many of us who struggle with self-doubt feel alone and the feelings of self-doubt, uncertainty, and anxiety can be debilitating and all-consuming. The truth is everyone experiences self-doubt at one point or another. In this episode, I discuss what self-doubt is, where self-doubt comes from, and 4 tips for overcoming and healing self-doubt.

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Releasing Self-Doubt Guided Meditation

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Learn More about Self-Doubt / Episode Reference 🔗

How To Eliminate Self Doubt Forever & The Power of Your Unconscious Mind | Peter Sage | TEDxPatras - Youtube

Timestamps ⏱️

Introduction 0:00
What is Self-Doubt? 2:30
Tip 1: 10:51
Tip 2: 13:14
Tip 3: 16:07
Tip 4:18

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This podcast was transcribed by an AI tool called Otter. Please forgive any typos or errors.
Amanda Durocher 0:01
Welcome to New View Advice. I'm your host Amanda Durocher and I invite you to join me here each week as I offer advice on how to move through whatever problem or trauma is holding you back from living life to the fullest. Let's get started.
Amanda Durocher 0:16
Hi, beautiful souls. My name is Amanda. And this is New View Advice. If you're new here, this is a healing centered advice podcast where I offer guidance for the healing journey. Today's topic is self doubt. And I am so looking forward to this topic because self doubt is something I've struggled with my whole life. And it's clear to me that others are struggling with self doubt as well. This topic was actually chosen by the new view advice community on Instagram. I often asked for suggestions on episode topics, and I asked people if they have any questions there. So if you are interested in joining that community, feel free to give me a follow at newView advice. But today we are really diving into what is self doubt? Where does self doubt come from? And how do we begin to heal and overcome self doubt in our own lives. And I think when it comes to self doubt, so many of us can feel alone, we can feel like we're the only one struggling like we're the only ones who don't know what we're doing. Like we're the only ones doubting ourselves, or we're the only ones with insecurities. And I think that it's so important for us to debunk that myth because I think everybody struggles with self doubt, I think that self doubt is so common. And I think that everybody feels doubtful at one point or another. And it's important to begin to look at your self doubt and heal it, especially when it becomes debilitating. And it's keeping you from those next steps. It's keeping you from moving forward in your life or it's keeping you stuck in a pattern. And I know for me, self doubt has been something that has kept me stuck many times throughout my life. So looking at my self doubt bringing awareness to myself doubt has been so important for me throughout the healing journey. So today, I will be giving you four suggestions for healing self doubt in your life. And before I jump into the episode, I did want to mention that I have created a meditation that is on my YouTube channel, where you can find me at New View Advice there as well. And this is a meditation to help you to heal yourself doubt. So in this meditation, we'll be connecting with our inner children. And if there's a belief around self doubt, that we're ready to look at heal and witness. So if you're interested in that, definitely check out my YouTube channel. Or you can visit the show notes at newviewadvice.com/65. And I will have the meditation there as well. So let's jump on into talking about self doubt.
Amanda Durocher [what is self-doubt?] 2:30
Okay, so what is self doubt, simply put self doubt, according to Google, is a lack of confidence in oneself and one's ability, self doubt often brings up feelings of uncertainty regarding one or more aspects of ourselves, I find that when self doubt arises, it can often be tied to anxiety, or depressive feelings as well. And I think it's normal to experience self doubt. I think every human has doubted themselves throughout their lives. I think that when we really want to become aware of this self doubt is when it's becoming debilitating when we're getting stuck in that inaction when we're not taking those steps we want to take right, I think self doubt so often arises when our heart is speaking, because our heart is often asking us to take the logical steps or to take new steps, right? It's asking us to challenge ourselves. So so often, self doubt will arise. And I also wanted to mention that I think that a lot of people who suffer from impostor syndrome can suffer from self doubt. And a lot of people who are self critical can suffer with self doubt, I know that I am somebody who has been very critical of myself throughout my life, I would call myself my own biggest critic. And anytime I'm critical of myself, self doubt tends to arise as well. So where does self doubt come from? And why do people have so much self doubt? I think that self doubt comes from a few different places. One of them is that I think self doubt is actually an indicator of the body. Right? So the body is designed to be predictable, and to keep us safe. That's the nervous system. The nervous system wants us to remain in safety. And it's constantly looking out for danger, right? So I think that self doubt can arise when this nervous system is triggered. I actually watched a TED talk when preparing for this episode by Peter sage, and he is an entrepreneur and an author. And he said a quote that really stuck out to me, he said, as human beings our nervous system is hardwired for comfort. But whereas the essence of what makes us us, some would say our soul is hardwired for growth. And I thought this was a great quote, because I think it explains why self doubt can feel like we're being tugged in different directions. We're being pulled between what feels like safety and unsafety. Anything new feels unsafe to the nervous system. We are hardwired to remain safe and comfortable. That's why doing new things, even though we know we want them can feel really triggering And the more limiting beliefs we have, the harder it will be to quote unquote, just do it anyways, I think self doubt occurs when we are being pulled between safety, what we already know, and what we want what we desire, which, if it's something new can feel unsafe to the body and mind. And it's especially difficult if we have a lot of limiting beliefs in our unconscious. So self doubt is very often tied to that subconscious mind. And what this means is that self doubt is very often tied to our beliefs about ourselves and the world. Many of us who were taught from young ages not to trust ourselves, not to trust our feelings, not to trust our instincts, not to trust others, can suffer from self doubt. Also, many trauma survivors struggle with self doubt. Because if this bad thing happened, how do we know our decisions won't lead to something bad happening again. So when something new happens, or we're put in a new situation, it can set those red alerts off inside our mind and our body. Because, again, a limiting belief was often created from that trauma experience, in order to try to keep us safe moving forward. And so a part of us feel safer living in the known pattern, even if we're unhappy, the mind doesn't really care if we're happy, the mind is trying to keep us safe. Your heart, the part of you that whispers what you really want, that cares if you're happy. So it's learning how to notice this tug of war within you, and how to embrace change anyways. And I know for me, as somebody who is a trauma survivor, and one of my trauma responses was the freeze response, it's been really hard for me to do just do it anyway, or do it scared because my body will go into a freeze response when it's overly triggered, and that will lead to inaction. So it's important, I think, to begin to look at the times that you become overwhelmed with self doubt, or when your self doubt can feel debilitating, and I don't think it always has to be just go out and do it. Anyway. I think that for people like me who have struggled with that freeze response, we can take some baby steps forward if it becomes too overwhelming for the body, right? So I think that bringing awareness to these limiting beliefs and tracking them, where they started, where they originated, what's the root of the belief behind the self doubt, that will help you to be able to take steps moving forward? I know that's been part of my process, because doing this podcast has brought up a lot of self doubt for me over the past two years, I think that every new step I take, I doubt myself and sometimes it can take me months to really look at how I'm quote unquote, procrastinating and how that procrastination is actually self doubt. And then I will begin to look at that pattern and do some of the suggestions I have in this episode, in order to move past that self doubt. But I just want to say that if you're somebody who struggles with self doubt, be kind impatient with yourself. Because I think we do live in a world that's like, just go do it anyway. But for some of us, it's like a real freeze response. Right? And so when that arises, it's just important to begin to notice it. Right? Are you freezing? Are you disassociating? are you procrastinating? It's not about judging yourself, or telling yourself, oh, just power through. It's really about becoming aware, first write, seeing that this is happening, can't really change anything until you begin to see it. And if you see that your body is going into overdrive, take a step back, start to witness what is happening within you start to witness your thoughts, rather than attaching to them. Start writing down the stories you're telling yourself, it's really about taking that step back, because by taking a step back first, then you'll be able to take like three steps forward, which can be really helpful for people who struggle with inaction or debilitating self doubt. I also think a reason for self doubt is that self doubt can be an indicator of the things we want the things that bring us the most joy, love and fulfillment. And that self doubt can really be an indicator that you're on the right path, Even though it feels uncomfortable that self doubt is arising because the more you lean into that growth, which is the calling of the heart, the more the mind will want to bring up all those pesky limiting beliefs. It's going to bring them all to the surface because it's gonna say we're not good enough. Wait, you don't deserve love. Nobody's going to listen to you. It's bringing them up almost as roadblocks like are you sure are you sure? And it's inviting you to look at them, witness them and heal these beliefs before you take that next step forward. And I think that there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with taking some time to heal, taking some time to sit with those limiting beliefs, and to bring awareness to them. Because when you take the time to look at those subconscious beliefs and where they originated, you're able to heal them, and then you're able to move forward without them rather than having this belief arise. Every time you do something new or every time you do something your heart is asking. It just gets easier the more limiting beliefs we clear out of our subconscious. So self doubt has been a challenge in my life as I've mentioned, but it's also been one of my greatest teachers, myself don't points me towards a part of myself that wants to be witnessed and loved. And it also points the arrow in the direction of what I desire of what I really want. And so beginning to become aware of yourself, doubt is going to be really helpful for you on your healing journey and also in your life, because that self doubt is communicating something to you. So it can feel so uncomfortable. And it can feel like a punishment. But really, the more you get to know yourself doubt, the more you get to know your triggers and the things that trigger the self doubt and the limiting beliefs in your head, the more information you can actually gather from this self doubt. And so though self doubt plagues many of us, I do believe we can overcome self doubt. So here are my four suggestions for overcoming self doubt, some of these may work for you, some of them may not. This is all about take what resonates, leave what doesn't.
Amanda Durocher [tip 1] 10:51
So my number one suggestion is to begin to dive deep and explore your self doubt and inner beliefs about yourself. As I already discussed a bit, many of our self doubts are rooted in beliefs about ourselves, many of these beliefs go back to childhood, our teenage years and trauma. And the TED Talk by Peter sage I watched which I'll link in the show notes at New va advice.com/ 65. He discusses how many of these beliefs go back to our childhoods before age seven. Because before age seven, the brain does not have critical thinking skills yet. So when we are criticized gal that judged punished and neglected, abused and more we create beliefs, we create beliefs that get programmed straight into our subconscious mind, we're not able to have that critical mind, which would say I take that I don't take that I resonate with that I don't, everything just goes straight back. So say you're yelled at in the store, right? You may tell yourself, I'm not good enough. That's why I was yelled at. I'm not worthy of love. Or say you wanted a toy. And your parents said, No, you may say I'm not good enough. That's why I didn't get that. And then you might start internalizing, I'm not good enough. So that's why it's so important for us to really look at where these limiting beliefs came from and where they started. So beginning to dive deep into healing your limiting beliefs, you'll begin to doubt yourself less. And I'm so passionate about healing because it makes all other aspects of our lives better. The more I focus on me, the more I love me, the more I focus on self, the better my life becomes. The more I look at those subconscious patterns, the more I look at why I do the things I do, why I doubt myself, and I heal that the more all areas of my life change, I think that's what's fantastic about healing is that we can often focus on wanting to heal one aspect, but really, it vibrates and reverberates into all aspects of our lives. So if you find yourself struggling with debilitating self doubt, take the time to get to know yourself to dive deep. It may be challenging at first. But once you begin to peel back the layers of what is holding you back, your life will change. I can promise you that. Because when you change the beliefs about yourself, your life has to change. We are the creators of our realities. And these realities are created based on our beliefs about ourselves in the world, the more you believe in you, the more the world will reflect back that belief in you.
Amanda Durocher [tip 2] 13:14
My second suggestion for overcoming self doubt is to stay in your lane. And what I mean by that is focused on you don't focus on what other people are doing, focus on what you're doing and what you're here to do. Because I think in a world with social media and the internet, it is so easy to compare ourselves to others. And I find that this is a big culprit for my own self doubt is that I'll scroll social media and I'll be like, Oh my God, should I be doing that week should I be doing that? Should I be doing that, like that. And all this self doubt will arise. So it's so important for you to stay in your lane. And I say stay in your lane, because the example I'm going to give is say you're driving a car, and it's a three lane highway, and there's a car in the left lane, the right lane and you're in the middle lane, you're going to stay in your lane, you're not going to start following the car in the left lane, you don't know where they're going. Maybe you're driving three exits, and that cars driving all the way cross country, you don't know. You have to just stay in your lane, follow your guidance system, follow your navigation system, you're not going to follow the car in the right lane. That car may be getting off real quick. And then taking 10 detours you don't know and honestly it's none of your business. What other people are doing can be a hard thing to accept. But truly it's not your business what other people think of you and it's not your business, what other people are doing. It's your business to do what you came here to do. And what I mean by that is what did you come here to do as a human? What is your soul calling you to do? What is the journey that your soul is going on? That is your business and that is your priority here in this lifetime. It is important for you to focus on you and what you are here to do. What you are here to create what you are here to Say what you are here to embody in this lifetime, it is so important, especially at this time in history for you to do what your heart is asking for you to do. The world is a crazy place. It is a time of distraction, and it is a time of confusion. So it is so important for you to learn how to trust yourself. And you're going to begin to trust yourself by focusing on you listening to your heart and staying in your lane. And if you find social media to be difficult, I know I do, I set a lot of boundaries around social media, because it's a big culprit of my self doubt, and insecurity for me. And the more I disengage from social media, the better I feel. And so it's really important for you to begin focusing on the things that are triggering your self doubt, and creating boundaries around it so that you can do what you came here to do, and be competent in it. Because you, my friend, are here to do amazing things you are here to be in loving relationships, you are here to feel fantastic. And how you're going to do that is by staying in your lane.
Amanda Durocher [tip 3] 16:07
My third suggestion is similar to what I just said. But it's to become aware of your environment, and who and what you surround yourself with. So it is important for you to look at the people you hang out with. Who do you spend the most time with? And what are the beliefs, they are saying constantly? Because this was also in the Peter sage video, the TED talk I mentioned, where he talks about that environment is so important, because the longer you stay in an environment, the more likely you are to pick up the beliefs of that environment. So you want to look at who are you hanging out with? Do they support you. So say you wanted to start a blog about puppies, how much you love puppies, but you hang out with a bunch of people who say it's really stupid to start a blog, you are likely to never start that blog, but your heart is still going to ask you to start that block. And so it's important for you to find people who are going to support you. And if some of those people who don't support you or your family members, then to me those are people you have come here to Earth to work with. There are people that you have come to heal with. And that doesn't mean they're healing, it means you are healing. And I find that sometimes we need to set boundaries with our families. So I've done episodes on family dynamics, and you can listen to those if you find that some of the biggest roadblocks in your life or your family members. I think it's also important for you to look at what kind of media are you consuming? And what are the messages in those media. So that could be the news that could be the TV shows you watch. That could be the commercials you consume? That can be YouTube videos, but what are you consuming? And what is the message behind those? What kind of music are you listening to? And what are the messages behind the music you're listening to? And who are you following on social media? And what messages are you taking in a step in the healing journey, and healing from self doubt is beginning to become aware that everything is affecting you. And that your energy and how you feel is your responsibility. And not everything in this world is going to make you feel good. And you don't have to put time energy and attention into anything that doesn't make you feel good. And you don't have to look at all the problems of the world right now. Okay, they're still gonna be there. After you do some healing, right? I can engage more with the news now, because I have healed so much. But when I was in the depths of my healing, it was important for me to focus on me, it was important for me to stay in my lane, because the only way we're going to change the world is by changing ourselves first. And that is something I truly believe.
Amanda Durocher [tip 4] 18:40
My fourth suggestion for healing self doubt is to learn to be compassionate with yourself. Learn to hold yourself, learn to love yourself. The kinder you are to yourself, the less you will doubt yourself. The more you are your own best friend, your own biggest cheerleader, the more you are your biggest support system. The more you learn to Mother yourself, the more you learn to Father yourself, the more you learn to love your self, the less you will doubt yourself. Because oftentimes we doubt ourselves when we are looking outside for somebody to tell us it's all going to be okay. But the more you learn to tell yourself it's going to be okay. The more you learn how to support yourself, the more you learn how to trust yourself, the more you learn how to connect back to yourself, and support yourself, the less self doubt will arise in your life. Because the world needs you. The world needs all the beauty you're here to create. The world needs the love you're here to give to yourself and others. The world needs you. I know this may sound dramatic, but I truly believe we are at a time in history when the world needs everybody to show up. The world needs us to be those versions of ourselves. We said we'd be before we came here. The world is looking for that love I look outside and my heart breaks. And it breaks my heart that so many of you and me, don't trust ourselves that we doubt ourselves. If you're listening to this podcast, you are looking to heal. You are a good intentioned human. You are a good hearted human, and it breaks my heart that you doubt yourself. You deserve everything your heart is asking. But it may be asking you to look at some hard beliefs first, to feel some hard feelings first, but I promise you, the more you heal, the more you look at your limiting beliefs. The more you cater your life to your lane, right to that middle lane highway, the more your life will change and the less you will doubt yourself. So I hope something in this episode was helpful. Those are my four suggestions for healing from self doubt.
Amanda Durocher [outro] 20:55
Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. As I mentioned in the intro, I have created a YouTube video to assist you in healing from self doubt and connecting back to your inner child. So if that interests you, you can find that either on my website at NewViewAdvice.com/65 Or you can find it on my YouTube page at New View Advice. Thank you again for tuning in to another episode of New View Advice. As always, I am so grateful to be here with you and I hope I was able to offer you a new view on whatever you may be going through sending you all my love. See you next time
Transcribed by https://otter.ai