What Is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and How Can It Help Your Healing Journey
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (also known as ACT) is a type of therapy that focuses on changing the relationship with difficult thoughts and feelings. It teaches skills to end the fight with ruminating thought patterns, and instead guides the person to reflect on, choose, and live their values. The idea is that you don’t have to get rid of your anxiety, trauma, or depression to start living more fully and meaningfully.
When I was a new therapist, I struggled with the idea of therapy. Honestly, I didn’t feel therapy had ever helped me personally, and in my limited counseling experience at the time, I wasn’t seeing my clients change their patterns either. I put counseling on the back burner and became a behavior analyst, where I could see changes happen in a more concrete way.
I returned to counseling more fully after discovering ACT, because this approach finally made sense to me. I fell in love with ACT because of the idea of living more intentionally and in accordance with values. It combined the behavioral data and goal-setting I was used to as a behavior analyst with the values-driven and self-compassionate elements I’d always wanted in therapy.
A Look at ACT and Strategies You Can Try
Many clients come to therapy, and their goal is often to feel better or feel happier, which is completely understandable and relatable, however, there’s research around the “paradox of happiness”. The studies that have been done on this show the more someone pursues happiness as a goal, the less happiness they tend to feel. This is especially true in individualistic cultures like ours in America. So, if chasing happiness isn’t the answer, what is? Values! When your goal is to move toward your values, you create a more meaningful life—one committed action at a time. Many people also report feeling more happiness as a side effect of living more in line with their values which I offer as a motivating fact to shift your perspective. ACT places a strong emphasis on identifying and living in alignment with your values—the qualities that matter most to you and the kind of person you ultimately want to be. These values become your compass in life.
Actions you can try
look at a list of values
Look at a list of values, and choose your top 4 for what you want to prioritize at this point in your life. Choose 1 or 2 that you feel like you are not fully embracing in your life despite the fact that they feel very meaningful to you, and then decide on a small step, a committed action, that could move you forward with this value or values. What does this look like? Think SMART goals- Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time Bound. For example if you think mindfulness is a top value but you aren’t actively practicing it, a committed action could be meditating for 10 minutes, 4 days a week.
ACT also reminds us that you are the observer of your thoughts—not the thoughts themselves. You can notice them without buying into them or fighting them. Thoughts can be positive, neutral, or negative. ACT encourages us to meet them all with curiosity. Sometimes this means sitting with discomfort instead of avoiding or distracting yourself from it. Have you ever thought, “I can’t do this,” “I can’t leave this relationship,” or “I’ll never love my body”? These thoughts can feel so real that we believe them without question. ACT utilizes skills to gain perspective on these thoughts, and reminds us that thoughts are not facts.
Naming Difficult Thoughts as a Story
When a difficult thought shows up, name it as a story. For example: “This is the ‘I can’t do it’ story.” Try saying it in a silly voice or giving your mind a name, to remind yourself you are the observer—not the voice. Practice mindful breathing while letting thoughts and feelings arise. You don’t have to push them away—just notice and name them gently, and come back to your breath.
ACT also emphasizes present moment awareness. It’s hard to live in the present. We replay the past or worry about the future. ACT encourages us to learn to notice and return to the moment we are in. This is a practice, not a destination. You won’t master it overnight, so be patient and kind with yourself as you build this skill.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
Try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique. Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This helps pull you out of overthinking by engaging your senses. You can also practice classic meditation, mindful walking, or simply pausing during your day to take in your surroundings.
Self-compassion is also foundational to ACT, and really, to any healing journey. It’s about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a good friend. Give yourself grace. Speak to yourself gently. Allow yourself to make mistakes and grow from those mistakes. Whether or not you try any of these strategies, I hope this gives you a new way to think about healing. Wishing you courage, clarity, and self-kindness as you move forward on your path.
