123: Loneliness After an Affair: How to Forgive Yourself for Cheating
In this episode, I answer a listener’s question about how to forgive oneself after cheating in a relationship. This listener is struggling with feelings of loneliness, sadness, and fear, and they feel as though they have to carry this burden and heavy shame by themselves. We discuss why it’s important to be supported throughout the healing journey, the importance of beginning to communicate with partners, and self-compassion. We also dive into discussing inner child work and how the inner child and looking at childhood wounding can help us understand infidelity and relationship patterns better.
This post contains affiliate links to some of my favorite tools and resources. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Full terms & conditions here.
Looking for resources for healing infidelity?
Podcast Recommendation ❤️
Recommended Episodes 🎙️
Book Recommendations 📚
Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt
Looking for Support & Help? Check out these coaches:
Kelby Knutt - Self-Love Coach & Relationship Coach
Andrea Giles - Helping Women Heal & Move Forward from Infidelity
Timestamps ⏱️
Introduction: 0:05
Listener Question: 2:50
Outro: 27:56
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This podcast was transcribed by an AI tool called Castmagic. Please forgive any typos or errors.
Amanda Durocher [00:00:01]:
Welcome to new view advice with Amanda Durocher. Hi, beautiful soul. Welcome to new view advice. My name is Amanda Durocher. And if you're new here, this is a healing centered advice podcast where I offer guidance for the healing journey. I don't believe I have all the answers you seek. I believe you have all the answers. You just may need a new view and a little help along the way.
Amanda Durocher [00:00:19]:
Thank you for joining me for today's episode. Today, I'm answering a listener question from someone who is struggling to forgive themselves after cheating and is struggling in their marriage since their affair. In this question, we discuss a relationship where someone has cheated on their husband and they have chosen to move forward and to remain married and together in their relationship. But this listener still finds themselves feeling sad, lonely, afraid. They feel like a lost and broken soul. So today, we are going to talk about some steps that we can take to move towards forgiveness, but also how to move forward. Because after infidelity, so often, if both people are willing to work on the relationship, the relationship can a % be repaired. But it's so important for both people to commit to moving forward in the relationship and to learn to communicate and to do some inner work.
Amanda Durocher [00:01:09]:
Because this question definitely, to me, points to having to do some inner work. I think when it comes to infidelity, it can feel so isolating, especially for the person who cheated because society is so quick to judge people who cheat. I also wanna give this little disclaimer upfront because people can get really mad at me when I talk about this topic. And sometimes people are cheated on by somebody who's really narcissistic, unapologetic, and has no feelings. Okay? That is real. But people in this podcast who are writing into this podcast have many feelings and are very sorry for what they did, and they wanna understand why they did it. So today's goal is really to break down this question and start to ask some questions because I can't tell you why this happened or why you feel the way you do. But it is my goal to help everybody who maybe can relate to this question to begin to ask themselves the questions and to begin getting honest with themselves about what is really going on underneath the surface.
Amanda Durocher [00:02:06]:
Because I believe that infidelity is so often a symptom to deeper rooted issues. And so today, we're gonna dive into maybe what some of those deeper rooted issues can be, how we can forgive ourselves, and also offering compassion to this listener. So before we jump in, I just wanna mention that on my website at newviewadvice.com/infidelityhub, you'll find more resources for healing from infidelity. On my website, you'll find more podcast episodes, journal prompts, and book recommendations because I believe that if one of your goals is repairing your relationship, reading couples books, you and your partner can be really helpful as well. So that is all on my website at newvideoadvice.com/infidelityhub. So with that, let's jump on into today's listener question. Hi, Amanda. I had an affair around the time of the death of my mom, about a year into my marriage.
Amanda Durocher [00:02:55]:
I had two babies, and my husband is not the most affectionate person. I did a lot of alone crying and made a lot of mistakes by drowning myself in alcohol and neglecting everything after my mom passed. I found someone who helped pick up the pieces, who made me feel loved and cared for and special, who gave me the intention I had searched for. But my affair lasted about a year on and off, scared to break it off because I was afraid of him telling my husband. Finally, I did. I've since told my husband a couple of years ago, but last year, I fell back into it. I had another affair. I was very intoxicated and don't quite recall it all, but later continued the conversations, though I never saw him again.
Amanda Durocher [00:03:30]:
My heart fell head over heels for this person because once again, I felt seen, I felt heard, and I felt loved. That has since ended as well. I confessed to my husband, we have made it a year since then, but things with my husband once again are just roommate lifestyle, and I find myself depressed. I never want to make those mistakes again. I've stopped drinking. I stay home and with a small group of ladies if I do anything, but I just feel sad, lonely, and afraid. My husband always thinks I'm angry. I don't feel I am, but him constantly voicing that hurts.
Amanda Durocher [00:03:57]:
We still do not have a deep connection together, just a routine marriage. I want it to work, but I have no clue what to do. I grew up in a house where my parents loved us. My dad drank a lot and acted like a crazy person, but I can't ever recall not feeling loved. There was a lot of trauma there with fighting and my dad abusing my mom, but never us. Anyways, I struggle a lot with accepting forgiveness from God for what I did. I cry thinking that my place in hell is sealed. I'm a lost soul, a broken soul, and I don't feel I have any trusted friends to share with completely.
Amanda Durocher [00:04:25]:
I carry this alone. Thank you so much for this question. And before I dive into kind of pulling some pieces of this and trying to help you to move forward, I want to thank you for writing in this question because I am grateful that you have reached out for help. Because with your question, I think that is the first step for you, is that beyond this question and beyond my answer here, I believe you need help. And I believe you need more people who you can rely on in your life. And that just might be beginning to open up to your husband and the friends you already have and your family. It doesn't mean those people aren't there, but you do not deserve to carry this burden by yourself. And I am so sorry that you have felt that you have to carry this all alone.
Amanda Durocher [00:05:12]:
I don't know why you feel like you have to carry it alone. My guess is shame, that you feel ashamed of what you did, and you're afraid of being judged and shamed by others, maybe shunned by others. Maybe your fear is that you will be left alone and abandoned if you share this. But the truth is you already feel alone. So I want to invite you to invite somebody into this. And if it can't be somebody in your present day life, I wanna put it at the top of this episode that I really invite you to look into therapy, to look into relationship therapy, maybe to look into relationship coaching. I'm starting a podcast with a woman named Kelby Kanut, and she does relationship coaching. I'm gonna link her in the show notes for this episode because I believe that you are looking to move forward.
Amanda Durocher [00:05:57]:
That's what it sounds like, and you're stuck. And I am so sorry to hear that you feel so lost and broken because nobody deserves to feel lost and broken. I have felt lost and broken so many times throughout my life. I don't know how much anybody has listened to this podcast before, but I am a trauma survivor. I'm a rape survivor. I'm a near death experience survivor. I am a childhood trauma survivor. So I'd mentioned that because I understand what it feels like to be lost and broken.
Amanda Durocher [00:06:25]:
And it breaks my heart that you feel that way. It breaks my heart that anybody feels that way. I joke that empathy will be my fatal flaw or it'll be my reckoning. I don't know. But I share my experience with being lost and broken with you because I know that you will not be here forever. You will not always feel the way you are feeling now, but it is going to require some work to move forward. And it sounds like you've had two affairs now, and I sounds like you likely didn't do much work on your relationship or yourself after the first affair, but it sounds like this second affair has really triggered in you wanting change in your life. And I think that rock bottom can feel so freaking hard, but, also, it can be a gift for us to get to the point where we cannot continue to live in our suffering anymore.
Amanda Durocher [00:07:15]:
Because, yes, you've made mistakes, but you don't deserve to punish yourself for said mistakes for the rest of your life. I believe every mistake we make is forgivable, and I also believe that oftentimes the person who needs to forgive us most is ourselves. Because it sounds like you and your husband have chosen to move forward together. He knows what you've done. He still is choosing to be in the relationship as well. But it sounds to me like you are struggling to forgive you. You mentioned here that you're struggling to accept forgiveness from God, and you cry thinking of your place in hell. To me, that sounds like another way you are punishing yourself.
Amanda Durocher [00:07:51]:
You are continually telling yourself that not even just right now are you being punished, but you will continue to be punished for the end of time. And I do not believe that is the case at all. Your place in hell is not sealed. I truly don't even think there is a hell. I think planet Earth feels like hell to me at times, but we're not gonna go there today. But you, I believe, are struggling with accepting forgiveness from God because you're struggling to forgive yourself. And I want to break down a few things I noticed in this question that may help you to begin to forgive yourself or at least may help you to have more awareness because you have a lot of awareness here, I wanna mention, throughout your question. And I think that it's just time for you to take another step into the awareness, which is likely going to require you to feel some feelings and to be a bit more honest with yourself.
Amanda Durocher [00:08:46]:
So first, let's start with some inner work, and then I wanna talk a bit about your relationship. So if you were to begin to dive into inner work around why did you have these affairs and why are you having trouble forgiving yourself, I would start, if I were you, with looking at your childhood that you mentioned. Do you mention that you grew up in a house where your parents loved you, but your father drank a lot, acted like crazy person? But you don't feel like you weren't loved, but there was a lot of trauma. I don't wanna challenge if you felt loved, but I do wanna challenge that it sounds like there were things missing in your childhood. You mentioned that you had these two affairs because you felt seen, you felt heard, and you were given attention that you had been searching for. If your father drank a lot and acted like a crazy person and was abusing your mother, my guess is you didn't always feel seen and heard as a child. That there were many moments in your childhood when you needed to be seen and heard and you weren't. My guess is if you were witnessing those events as a child, you felt fear.
Amanda Durocher [00:09:49]:
You felt afraid. And, yes, you said the abuse didn't come towards you, but you witnessed your mother in situations that you could not help and you could not change. And you witnessed the side of your father that was very scary, it sounds like. And I believe that children deserve to be protected and safe. This doesn't sound like you grew up in a protective and a safe environment. And I mentioned that because though you may have felt loved at all times, it sounds like there might have been other things that were lacking. If you're having trouble on the word love, maybe look at times you didn't feel seen, heard, protected, or safe. And I believe all those things lead to us feeling loved, by the way.
Amanda Durocher [00:10:31]:
And I also wanna offer here that it's okay if you didn't feel loved every moment of your childhood. It doesn't mean you have to hate your parents. It doesn't mean you even have to blame your parents. We don't do inner child work to shift the blame from us to them. We do inner child work because these wounds that we develop in childhood live within us. These inner children, these different ages, these different moments of time live within our bodies. It is moments that get stuck because that fear gets stuck, and we deserve to free ourselves of that. We deserved in that moment that gets stuck to have been protected or to have felt safe or to feel loved or to have felt seen and heard.
Amanda Durocher [00:11:12]:
We deserved that then, and we didn't get it in the moment when we were a child, but we can give it to ourselves now. What a beautiful gift we can give ourselves. That to me is the act of self compassion, self love, and self healing, is being the parent for ourself now that we didn't have then. And, again, a lot of people can struggle with this because they get stuck around the thought of not wanting to judge their parents. You don't have to judge your parent in order to offer yourself empathy for that what you went through, you wouldn't want another child to go through. Because your parents were likely doing the best they could. That's just the reality of life. Our parents are doing the best they can.
Amanda Durocher [00:11:53]:
It doesn't mean they're perfect. But as children, we put them on a godlike pedestal because we need to be safe. We need to be protected. This person is in charge of giving us really everything, at the end of the day protecting us and leaving us feeling safe. And so a lot of times as children, we can't look at the pain that our parents cause us. And that's why it comes up again later to be looked at. And oftentimes, relationships is a big trigger for that. And I'm gonna plug my future podcast that's coming out in a few weeks, Love Under the Scope.
Amanda Durocher [00:12:25]:
We are really diving into that on that podcast about how relationships trigger our inner child. And I just think it's so important because I think so many people can get stuck in relationship patterns because they don't understand the connection between these childhood wounds and how we play them out today. But that's the reality of many of these things that happen in our relationships. And so with your question, I wanted to offer that perspective. And maybe it doesn't resonate for you, but maybe there's somebody else out there who's like, dang. You're right. I didn't feel seen by my parents, and I can see that playing out in my life now. I'm not sure, but I do believe so many times when we don't know or we feel stuck, it goes farther back than we realize, the wounding.
Amanda Durocher [00:13:07]:
So that is where I would begin with the inner work. And, again, you don't have to do that by yourself. I invite you to try therapy or to find somebody who can help you to begin to do that inner child work. You don't have to do it alone. As I mentioned, Helby, who I'm doing a podcast with, helps people with that. I'm also in two weeks from this episode. So depending on when you listen to it, you may be able to hear it. I have an episode coming out about EMDR, where EMDR can help you do this as well, and you can do EMDR with therapist.
Amanda Durocher [00:13:35]:
And I have a therapist who explains all about EMDR and the wonderful benefits of doing EMDR. So there are steps that you can take. You just may have to go through one of your first hurdles, the person who wrote this question, which is opening up to other people because you feel like you have to carry this alone, and I promise you, you don't. And I promise you that if somebody shames you for this, that does not make them right and you wrong. So many times we don't open up because being shamed and blamed by somebody can be more painful than the trauma itself in different situations. And that's why for you, I invite you to maybe bring in a professional because I don't know the people in your life, and I don't know how safe they are. But that leads me to I do think that you need to bring your husband into this conversation. It does sound like you guys are in some patterns of not communicating, And it sounds like he thinks you're angry, and you don't feel like you're angry.
Amanda Durocher [00:14:29]:
But my guess is maybe you're feeling something else he's catching, and you guys don't know how to communicate about your emotions. You don't know how to communicate about the shame you're feeling. He may have some shame as well. And I think it's time. If you really wanna make this relationship work, which I think you can, but I think it's going to take both of you committing to starting from scratch. So in the past, I'll link it in the show notes, I did a podcast episode with Andrea Giles who is a healing from infidelity coach. So I'll also link her website as well because maybe she is somebody who somebody out there would be interested in working with who feels alone in this because you don't have to feel alone. I really, really want you to understand that, and I understand why we carry these.
Amanda Durocher [00:15:10]:
I believe that the shame and the blame keeps us from seeking the help we need. Though I know I may sound like a broken record at this point, but I really, really do believe that there is hope for you. You will not feel this way forever, and there are compassionate people out there who can help you through this. So in your relationship, maybe couples therapy would be a good starting point. Maybe one of those books on my website I mentioned in the intro could be helpful. But I do think you have to start speaking to your husband about how you're feeling.
Amanda Durocher [00:15:56]:
If you don't wanna feel like a roommate with your husband, which I think many relationships can go through rough patches. I think it's part of being in a long term relationship. But I think that your relationship I talked about this before, and I'm pretty sure Andrea Giles mentioned it in the episode I'm going to link that when infidelity happens, it's like a a house is on Rakke foundation and the house collapses. And in order to rebuild a relationship, you're rebuilding a new house in this metaphor. So you're rebuilding your relationship from scratch. And I think it sounds like you and your husband with these two affairs have tried to just kinda skirt over them and put them under the rug, but it sounds like the piles under the rug is getting too big. I actually talked about it in my first episode of newbie advice that it's important to do the inner work because it's like when we don't do the work and we don't look at why we feel the way we feel and we don't look at our emotions and we don't look at our trauma, it's like we're shoving a bunch of cookies under the rug. I call it cookies.
Amanda Durocher [00:16:50]:
Other people say it's like shit under the rug. But I like cookies because I like a sweeter example. But it's like shoving a bunch of cookies under a rug and then there's this mound. And you can try to put plants around the mound. You can try to put decorations. You can try to shove the mound behind a dresser, but it's still there. And I think it sounds like the mound in your relationship has gotten so big, it is the centerpiece of your relationship. And there are so many things that you and your husband need to begin communicating about, and that's okay.
Amanda Durocher [00:17:18]:
That's okay. We all have to start somewhere. It can be so intimidating to start from the beginning and to start from scratch. I I was just talking to somebody about that yesterday with the example of exercise, about how when we first start going to the gym, it's so intimidating, and we don't get the results we want right away. But over time, we begin to get stronger, and we begin to see our strength. And then a year in, we're like, oh my god. Look at my growth. But we live in a society that wants everything to change instantaneously.
Amanda Durocher [00:17:47]:
The truth is most things in life aren't instantaneous. And honestly, I believe nothing worth having is instantaneous. The best things in life, we have to work for. And I think we forget that, and we can get intimidated by that. But I believe your relationship can work. It will just take you both committing to it, which is going to take you having a conversation with your husband first. From what I've read, you're gonna have to be the one to go to him and open the door. Or with the cookies under the rug example, you're gonna have to be the one to lift the rug and begin showing your husband the cookies that you guys have been shoving under the rug.
Amanda Durocher [00:18:23]:
And, again, it's so human to try and avoid pain. It sounds like you and your husband have both hurt each other throughout your relationship. You have felt unseen and a lack of affection, and he has likely been hurt by your affairs that you sought love somewhere else. And in order to move forward, it's going to take communication and patience with one another and learning to communicate about your feelings. Because what I'm hearing with your question with the two affairs you had, what you were really seeking was emotional intimacy, not sex. Sex might have been a fun part of it, but it sounds from you with what you said, the feeling loved, the feeling cared for, the feeling special, the feeling seen, the feeling heard, and, again, the feeling loved. What you were looking for was emotional intimacy. And, again, I invite you to really be with that inner child and ask if it's true that you felt as loved as you're telling yourself throughout your childhood.
Amanda Durocher [00:19:19]:
Because, again, it doesn't mean your parents didn't love you. And maybe loved isn't the word, but maybe you knew you were loved. But maybe you didn't feel you were loved. Another book I wanna recommend here is called Running on Empty, and it's about emotional neglect. And everybody I recommend this book to is like, that doesn't apply to me. But emotional neglect is what was missing in our childhood that we couldn't see. So so often, we don't actually know we were emotionally neglected until reading a book like this, and we go, oh, that's what I was missing. Yes.
Amanda Durocher [00:19:49]:
And I think growing up with someone who drinks a lot and acts like a crazy person, there was probably some emotional neglect going on. And, again, you can have that information and know it to be true and still not judge your parents for it. It's very hard because the mind wants to then throw blame or it doesn't wanna judge because it can see so many other things, especially from an adult mind. We can see our parents so much clearer than when we were children. Like, we can see, oh my gosh. Like, you were that age when you had me? Oh my god. You know? I think about that all the time. I don't have any children.
Amanda Durocher [00:20:22]:
And my parents had two kids at my age, and I'm like, oh my gosh. That's crazy. I can see why some things played out the way they did. I can see it differently. But I share that because it's okay to open the childhood wounding, and it's okay to burst the bubble that your parents weren't perfect because I'll burst it for you now. I don't know anybody who's perfect. So I don't know how anybody's parents could be perfect because nobody is perfect. No human is perfect.
Amanda Durocher [00:20:47]:
The human journey is beautiful and incredibly messy. It's a journey about growth. I believe we're all here to play out the hero's journey. And what that is, it's like the arc of a movie. It's like we come here one way, and throughout our life, we get to evolve and change. And we get to have these heroic moments, and we get to have these antagonistic moments, but we get to be the main character of our life. And every main character in every movie goes through obstacles and makes mistakes and needs to make amends. It's human.
Amanda Durocher [00:21:18]:
So I hope that throughout this question, if you've taken anything, it would at least be to take some of that shame and that blame off your shoulders. Because carrying shame and blame, in my experience, feels like carrying the heaviest boulder in the whole world. Like being that Greek myth figure, Atlas, and the myth is that he has to carry the world on his shoulders. I don't remember the whole story, but I know it from Percy Jackson, if anybody reads those novels. But Atlas carries the world on his shoulders. Oh my god. What a burden. Nobody's meant to carry the whole world.
Amanda Durocher [00:21:54]:
You are not meant to carry everything you're carrying. And my guess is you are carrying a lot more than even this one instance, which is why you feel so broken and so lost. And so for you, as I mentioned, I think finding somebody to help you through this is gonna be really helpful. So, again, therapist, a coach, a relationship therapist, maybe you and your husband can start going to therapy once a week together. Because another thing I wanna mention here is for both affairs, I'm wondering if there was an emotional trigger that got you to the point of having an affair. So it sounds like with the first affair, it happened around the death of your mother, which sounds like a very stressful time, which caused you to go to a coping strategy. You found somebody to take care of you. I'm guessing at that time, you did not have the tools or the skills to take care of yourself.
Amanda Durocher [00:22:41]:
Can you forgive yourself for that? Can you forgive yourself that at that point in time, you likely did not know better? It's hard for us to understand that, but the truth is you were likely doing the best you could at that time. You know, I'll give you an example from my life. I used to drink a lot. I'm also sober. It sounds like you've stopped drinking, and I commend you for that because I think that that's going to be really helpful for you on your journey too. I believe the inner work becomes clearer when we take away the things that we use to numb. But when I was a heavy drinker, I was really bad to my partner. I'll be honest.
Amanda Durocher [00:23:17]:
I used to drink so much. He'd have to carry me home from bars. He'd have to take care of me. I was reckless. I was reckless with my own life. I didn't have any regard for my life, and it was a burden on other people. And I lived with immense shame because I blacked out all the effing time. And I would drink till blackout, and somebody would have to freaking carry me home.
Amanda Durocher [00:23:37]:
Somebody would have to take care of me. And I would wake up the next day with so much shame because I didn't wanna be that way, but I didn't know how not to be that way. And people would say just stop drinking, and there there were many times I did try to stop drinking, but I literally couldn't. And why couldn't I? It's because I didn't have another coping strategy to handle the hell I was living in. And that's what I think happens is that life can feel like hell. It can also feel like heaven. But for many of us, when we are deep in our suffering, it feels like we're living in hell. And when I was going through the process of healing from rape and healing from child rape, I was living in hell, and the only thing that could make me feel better was a glass of wine.
Amanda Durocher [00:24:16]:
And that makes me very sad to see now that I didn't have the tools. I didn't know how not to pick up a drink when I had PTSD for a very long time, when I was whacked with things that most people will never even look at and won't even let me speak about in most rooms. I live with those things. I lived with those realities, and I share that because many people who listen to this podcast live with traumas that they have to, like you said, carry alone. And when we have to carry things alone that we never should have had to carry alone, it can lead us to doing things that other people would judge as irresponsible, hurtful, bad, shameful, blameful, when truly we're just trying to figure it out. We're just trying to survive. And it sounds to me like after the death of your mom, that might have been a place where you were at. That you just needed to survive.
Amanda Durocher [00:25:08]:
And this affair helps you do that. And, again, does it make it right? We don't have to make everything right or wrong. It's just true. And what does that mean, that it was true for you? The forgiveness comes when you can see, I'm so sorry, self, that you didn't have another way to cope at the the time. I didn't have the tools. It's like, say, you have to fix a door, and you have a toolbox, but all the tools you need to fix the door are missing. How do you fix the door? You don't. Maybe you then start duct taping it, and you start, like, throwing it up, and you try to shove it in there.
Amanda Durocher [00:25:38]:
But it's not actually fixed because you didn't have the tools in the toolbox that could do the job. It's the same thing that happens in our life when we don't have the tools yet yet because you will get the tools. When you don't have the tools, we have to come up with something in order to feel better. It's a survival mechanism. It's a trauma response. It's devastating, and it's devastating and painful to look at, but it's forgivable because it's like, oh, that wasn't who I truly am. That was a trauma response. Dang.
Amanda Durocher [00:26:08]:
I am so sorry, self, that it's taken me so long to see that. And I mentioned that because with the first one, I see that with the death of your mother, and I'm wondering if, with the second affair, if there was another trauma response that was triggered. And it might have been a smaller event, but I'm wondering if maybe something happened in your marriage that day, maybe you hit a boiling point, like, the lack of communication just built up that you hit a breaking point. But these are the things that can help us to bring compassion to ourselves when we can see why we did what we did, and we can understand that it came from a wounded place. One more example I'll give is, like, think of a caged animal. Think of, like, a coyote. When we see coyotes out and about, they don't approach people. We don't really approach them, but they don't approach us.
Amanda Durocher [00:26:51]:
If you were to cage a coyote, it likely would begin to snarl at you, claw at you, maybe try to bite you because it's caged and it's trying to survive. And that's what it can feel like when we're living with trauma or when traumatic things happen and we don't know how to feel like it is we feel like we're caged, and we act from a caged response. We feel backed into a corner when we don't know what to do. When things are just getting worse and worse, we're just backing farther and farther into a corner, and then we can lash out. And my guess is these affairs might have been from a lashing out type of response where you were like, oh my god. I just need something to feel better. I cannot feel this way anymore. I need something.
Amanda Durocher [00:27:30]:
And I share all that because I hope a new view was brought to your situation today. My prayer is that you're able to see yourself with a little bit more kindness, a little more forgiveness, or at least that you see some steps you can take forward. And again for you, you do not deserve to carry all this alone. No one deserves to carry anything alone. It's why I do what I do. I carried so much alone for so long, and that led me to the darkest places I have ever been, and I don't think it ever should have been that way. No one deserves to be isolated in their pain, and that includes you. So I hope something was helpful in this answer.
Amanda Durocher [00:28:06]:
I am so sorry you are going through such a tough time, but I am sending you so much love. Thank you for this question. Thank you so much for joining me for another episode of Newbie Advice. As always, I'm so grateful to have these conversations each week and to continue discussing the healing journey. If you think this episode could help somebody, I invite you to share it with a friend. The way that Nuvia advice gets spread the most is by word-of-mouth, so I'm so grateful for everybody who shares it with a friend, and I would invite you to continue to do so. Please, please share any of my work with anyone you know. It's the best form of promotion.
Amanda Durocher [00:28:41]:
It's for humans to share with more humans. So I really invite you, if you enjoyed this episode, to share with somebody else. I know that infidelity can be a topic that's hard to share with other people, but I do invite you to share this episode, another episode, or even just my website where I have a bunch of free resources for for the healing journey and a lot of content. I'm really excited. New View Advice is moving in a new direction. I have four podcasts coming this spring, and we're gonna have new writers on the site who are gonna share their perspectives because I don't believe I have the only view. I believe that everybody has a unique perspective, and I wanna bring a bunch of new views to new view. So it's a super exciting time for new view advice, and I just ask for help spreading the word about my work and my content.
Amanda Durocher [00:29:19]:
I am really grateful for everybody who has continued to listen throughout the years. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for your support, And thank you again for joining me for another episode of NuVu Advice. As always, I hope I was able to offer you NuVu on whatever you may be going through. Send you all my love. See you next time.
