Why I Run

Blog

Apr 23

If anyone had asked me if I ran prior to 2018, I would have responded, “I’m not a runner,” probably paired with an overdone joke about what would make me run—like a bear. Funny enough, I have run away from a bear, but that’s a story for another day.

Back in 2018, I was going through a lot in my life, and I had just learned about a psychology theory whose main point was that we create narratives in our heads—and we maintain them to appear consistent. We tell ourselves things like, “I have no self-control,” “I’m not outgoing,” “I can’t change,” or “I’m not a runner,” and then our behaviors match our own stories. I was stuck in a rut at the time, unable to break free from a cycle of rumination. “I can’t get over things,” I lied to myself.

I was tired of doing the same thing, so when the frustration of life hit and I happened to be at the gym, I ran. For the first time since the presidential fitness test in middle school, I ran a mile. I don’t remember if I vomited afterward or just felt like it—but I ran. That night, I went home and signed up for a 5K. It wasn’t really about running at all. It was about proving to myself that I could do—or be—whatever I wanted.

I ran the 5K, and a couple more in 2019. Then I started having babies, and running got pushed aside. Five years, four pregnancies, and three babies later, I started to run again.

Running still reminds me that I can do things my mind tells me I can’t—but now, it’s more than that. Research shows that people who exercise for their values are more likely to stick with it than those who exercise to lose weight or change their appearance. And as I was running today, I thought more about that.

I realized I run for solitude during the rare moments I get alone. Sometimes I run for companionship, when I’m running with my partner. I run for health—to live a long life with my family. But mostly, I run to embrace and challenge the beautiful inconsistencies of my own human mind.

So if you ever find yourself saying, “I can’t,” or “I’m not,” maybe perhaps “you can,” and “you are.”