Growing Pains Along the Healing Journey
I’m at a point in my healing journey where I’m much more aware of things... painfully aware of things, sometimes. It’s a good thing to be aware - it shows me what needs to change - but it can also be deeply uncomfortable.
I notice when someone isn’t a good communicator. I see who struggles to hold themselves accountable. I can read between the lines of people’s words, actions, or lack thereof.
I try not to hold resentment, but I also need to allow myself to feel the frustration that comes with it. I understand that not everyone seeks growth or healing. At one point, I hadn’t either. I wasn’t a great communicator, I wasn’t in tune with my real needs and desires - I was just coasting, projecting, and following the lead of others.
But I’m not that person anymore. And because of that, some relationships in my life feel difficult and unfulfilling. I don’t want to be angry. I don’t believe people fail to show up for me because they don’t care. I also recognize that some of my needs are mine to meet. But now I know what I want from my relationships. I’ve evolved, I’ve grown, and I fear that means I’ve outgrown some of the people in my life. Family. Friends.
So here I am, fully aware of what feels good for my well-being and what doesn’t. I know I need to adjust my expectations, reconsider where I invest my energy, and maybe let certain things or people take up less space in my life.
Yet, I’m still frustrated. This is the human experience. Growth is necessary, but is everyone around me growing too? And if they are, are we growing together or apart?
This part of the journey feels lonely at times. But I remind myself that I am not alone. I’ve built a strong foundation of support and safety within myself. And beyond that, I’m incredibly grateful for the friendships and the love I have in my life - including my partner, who I cherish so much.
Growth can be uncomfortable, but I trust that it’s leading me exactly where I need to be.
