that time i met the devil
The devil knocked on my door,
He was wearing a disguise.
He looked like a handsome stranger,
One of those nice guys.
I let him in with a smile,
I gave him a seat at my table,
Little did I know the devil
Was a trickster and unstable.
For he made himself at home
And refused to get up.
He stole my childlike toys
And drank from my favorite cup.
I wish I could say I fought him off,
That I screamed and kicked him out.
But instead i drank his poison,
And let him linger all about.
The harm was already done
I thought he couldn’t do more,
But the truth was much scarier,
He had burrowed into my core.
For the devil grew roots.
He was a like a nasty weed
And over the years I forgot
That the devil did not leave.
And I mistook his presence
For parts of my own home.
I thought those weeds were me
And that I was all alone.
But that was the devil’s trick,
He was a master thief.
He stole my innocent nature,
And left me with misleading beliefs.
Cause I was the devil’s favorite game,
The prey to his mighty predator.
He beat me up and shamed me.
He was a better competitor.
Until one day a light turned on,
In the darkest place of all,
In the center of my home,
Where I was frightened and small.
The devil tried to shut it off,
But the light just kept growing,
And kept showing me places
Where the devil had been controlling.
So each day I awoke
And I weeded my inner garden,
And forced the devil out,
And became more and more unburdened.
The devil tried to stay,
For you see he liked to win.
He tried many disguises,
And punished me again.
But over the years I grew stronger,
And I began to recognize his games.
I saw truth from fiction,
No longer so easily shamed.
After nine years of torment,
My house was almost clean,
Just one weed remained
It was hidden and unseen.
The devil had been protecting it,
He hadn’t wanted me to see,
That this belief was his doing
And was keeping me from being free.
It was the belief that I was unworthy,
And that no one was coming,
And I'd have to spend my life alone
Without anyone loving.
For my life was one of trauma
And the pain had piled up,
And left me feeling unworthy
And like I’d never be enough.
But I looked around my house
Which was once a hot mess,
And saw it was now beautiful
And was a space so blessed.
So I took a deep breathe
And I cut that final weed.
And the devil disappeared
And I finally felt free!
So I opened the door,
And I walked outside,
Ready for something new
No longer needing to hide.
Written by Amanda Durocher
10.4.24