I fell for your spell

Once upon a time

I fell for your spell.

I was innocent then

Also a little unwell.

You see I was broken inside

Long before I met you.

So when you found me

There’s much I wish I knew.

But I didn’t know better.

There was much to be learned.

So when you entered my life

It took a tragic turn.

For you see I fell hard,

I found you charming.

I should have been running,

But instead let you disarm me.

For you and I shared

A path that was hard.

We both were shattered,

And felt used and discarded.

So when we connected

I thought the stars had aligned,

But instead it was the devil

Luring me into a bind.

The good days were few,

Most of them were traumatic.

You were abusive and cruel,

And said I was the one dramatic.

I tried to run and escape,

But you always lured me back

With the words I needed,

And by twisting the facts.

And no where I turned

Was love or compassion.

So I settled for your abuse

And this toxic attraction.

I look back now

With tears in my eyes,

At my younger self,

Now that I am more wise.

I see it so clearly now,

And see how I fell.

How I got so entangled

In your dark magic spell.

I lived in a world 

Where I didn’t see love.

So I thought I deserved

Your screams and shoves.

If I could go back in time,

I’d find my youthful self

I’d give her a big hug,

And I’d get her some help.

I’d tell her that this was not love

That love was not cruel.

It’s not meant to be a game,

And feel so hard and brutal.

I’d hold her so tenderly

And I’d let her cry it out,

And let her feel it all

And let go of the doubt.

I’d tell her she’s worthy

Even on the hard days,

And that she deserves more

In every single way.

I’d show her her future

Filled with love so grand,

And help her see the light

And to understand,

How she had ended up here

And none of it was her fault.

And that it’s safe to let go 

Of you and your assaults.

Written by Amanda Durocher

10.18.24