i call myself a coward
Don’t tell anyone
But I have a mighty fear.
It paralyzes me
And keeps me stuck here.
They say I’m a coward
The voices in my head.
I should have said something
But stayed quiet instead.
I live with regrets
That once led me to drink.
Now they lead to nights
Where I don't sleep a wink.
If I had spoken up
Would they not be in pain?
Is my cowardice at fault?
Am I the one to blame?
Because of my crimes
I now live in isolation.
It’s a form of punishment
Of my own creation.
The professionals preach
You’ve got to forgive.
But how do you do that
When some no longer live.
I speak to their ghosts
In the darkness late at night.
I feel their pain like my own
And help them find the light.
Am I doing enough?
This I’ll never know.
So I live with the label coward
And hope for a better tomorrow.
Written by Amanda Durocher
4.29.24